"I Can Do Myself" – A Lesson in Letting Go

Over the last four years, life — and more than anyone, my daughters — have taught me something I wish I’d learned sooner: you can’t help someone who isn’t ready to be helped.

Picture this: a toddler in full meltdown mode because they can’t figure something out on their own. You get down on their level, ready to offer your solution, your shortcut, your wisdom. But they don’t hear a thing — not yet. They’re too caught up in the frustration, too determined to prove they can do it solo. And honestly? Most kids eventually figure it out. They adapt. They learn to ask for help when the struggle gets bigger than their pride. But grown-ups… we’re not always as quick to do the same.

This hit me (again) over Memorial Day weekend. We were out in nature — waterfalls, fresh air, sunshine… all the soul-healing stuff. One day, Gemma, my four-year-old, set her sights on climbing to a waterfall by herself. She’s a confident little hiker, and we let her go for it. Then came AJ — younger, just as strong-willed, trying to follow her big sister. But she kept slipping. Again and again. I gently offered my help, and she fired back her new favorite phrase: “I can do it myself.”

So I waited.

Eventually, with scraped knees and a tired little sigh, she looked up and said, “Mommy, I need your help.” I was right there. I’d never left. Just waiting, ready — for her to be ready too.

That moment reminded me of so many past experiences. Times I offered help to friends, family, people I loved — and they pushed it away. Back then, it hurt. I used to wonder why anyone would reject a hand when they clearly needed one. But now I get it.

Because honestly, we’re all AJ sometimes. Stubbornly whispering “I can do it myself” even when we’re knee-deep in struggle.

And just like with our kids, the best thing we can do for the people we love is stay close. Be patient. Stay kind. And when they finally look up and say, “I need your help,” we’ll be there — ready.

Love, Gemma and Jules’s mom